You never know.

The 2000s: A Decade in Review
*Think back to ten years ago on this month.
*Write truthful answers and ELABORATE. This makes it more interesting!
*It's about personal changes. Have fun with it!

( Then and Now )

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OH LORD YES. I swear, if I hear one more person say "oh, you'll change your mind, you'll want children! Your biological clock'll start ticking and you'll want some cute babies of your own!" I will scream. My mom and older sister started the whole "it's different when they're your own" spiel recently, and Bryan's mom has filled FOUR 'grandchild boxes'. I DO NOT WANT BABIES. DEAL WITH IT, UNIVERSE.

I've come to a realization today- I am a neurotic, screwed up mess who worries about everything and is much too harsh on herself. I screw up too often, I can't even afford to keep myself alive, I freak out over the littlest thing, I take horrible care of myself, and I'm just not worth anyone's time.

And I can't stop being the way I am, no matter how I try.

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When I first really discovered the internet, and started using it, I made really horrible Sailor Moon websites. Like, typical late-90s era websites. And I downloaded just about every Sailor Moon picture I could find, and printed half of them out. I also used AOL, a lot, and used Instant Messenger to talk to people I knew from high school - I used to think it was the coolest thing in the world to swap screen names with the few people who had AOL and talk to them when I got home from school. Even though I'd talked to them all day.

Oh, a lot went on over Thanksgiving, and just about all of it was good. Some of the things I learned about my family scared the shit out of me, and explain a lot, but for the most part, it was good.

Wednesday morning Bryan and I left for my older sister Jo's house, and we got there in the afternoon. When we got there, it was just Logan and Kyle, my two nephews, since Jo was out running errands. Logan was happy to see us, and I don't think my younger nephew, Kyle, really understood who we were at first (he's autistic), but later on when we were unpacking the car he turned to me and said "You're my mom's sister, you're my aunt." And I said "Yeah, I am your aunt!" And he replied to that with "I just don't remember you because I haven't seen you a hundred times yet." He's a cutie. :) Anyway, Jo came home within a half hour, and she was really happy to see us. I ended up spending a lot of time with my nephews that night, since Jo had to go meet with her lawyer (she's about to divorce her husband, who I hate, and just about everyone who knows him hates him) about getting the divorce papers finished up. (He's getting served tomorrow, I hope.) After that, Jo had to go to Oswego to get her boyfriend (yeah, already), and Bryan ended up driving her because she has horrible night vision, like most of the family. So Logan and I sat around and talked while Kyle watched stuff on Youtube. I feel so bad for Logan. He's homeschooled, so he doesn't have many friends his age. The poor kid needs to get out and socialize! We talked and talked, and I told him about Mom (his gramma) and Ruth (who he barely remembers), and we had a lot of "I guess that runs in the family" moments, like with video games and stuff. It was so cute. I want to bring him up to visit sometime, and take him out to do stuff. I bet he'd have fun. Sure, it's not interaction with kids his age, but it gets him out of the house, and I'm sure he'd enjoy that.

Thanksgiving was great. Eric (Jo's boyfriend) is really nice, it felt like he's been part of the family forever. He fits right in. He cooked everything for Thanksgiving dinner, including the turkey. Bryan helped a little too. (Us Mirra girls don't know how to cook, haha.) And I call us Mirra girls because that's Mom's maiden name, and we've all got different last names - Johanna was raised as my Aunt Connie's daughter, so her last name is Gardner, and Ruth and I are Blakeslees, and Mom still has her first husband's last name of Sterpe, so what the heck do we use to refer to ourselves? Anyway, turkey day was amazing, and we all had a great time together. The food was amazing, and Eric's first turkey ever turned out delicious.

Friday was good too - Jo ended up driving Eric back so he could go to work, and Bryan and I did some more free babysitting. After Jo got home, we went and visited Mom, which was nice, and we got to see her new dog, Two. Yes, Two. Or Twoie, or Twotwo. The dog's original name? Talulah. Mom bought her from a breeder, she's a Great Dane, she's about two and a half years old, was a breeding dog and now she's Mom's new baby. She's a sweetie, I love her to pieces. Also got to see Aubi and Levon, Mom's sweet little Cocker Spaniels. After that, we went to Aunt Linda and Uncle Bob's- Jo hadn't seen them since she was 19, and I hadn't seen them since the family reunion three years ago. I got to meet their dog, Jeb, and my cousin Bob's dog Waylon, and oh lord those two are funny together. It was amazing - if I'd seen Ruthie, I'd have seen just about all my family all in one day. (Aunt Connie's off in Florida, and so's my cousin Jimmy, but I'm not very close to them)

And it's so weird how Jo and I are so similar. We both have favorite blankets that we can't really sleep without, we both cuddle up around pillows when we're sleeping on the couch, we both remember ridiculous things from ages ago, we both love to draw and paint, we're both stubborn as all hell, we have a lot of the same mannerisms, and it's just so weird how alike we are. It's not like that with Ruthie. I mean, yeah, Ruth and I have our similarities too - we read a lot, and we're not terribly picky about our music (we'll listen to just about anything), but other than that, we're not that alike. It's just scary how alike Jo and I are. It's interesting, getting to know an older sibling after you're both all grown up. I wish we'd grown up together, though. I really do. I think it would have helped me out a lot. It's so weird, realizing I'm someone's little sister. I was always the big sister when I was growing up, and then when I was 17, I wasn't the oldest anymore. And now we're actually able to have a relationship, since Dave is out of the picture (thank God, that guy is just horrible). It's nice to have a big family. :D

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I was wandering around on Facebook, seeing if anyone else from my high school graduating class had joined recently, and I remembered how I was picked on for liking Sailor Moon. This was back in the days when anime was new, and cartoons were still regarded as only for kids. (I think South Park had just come out, the first 'adult' cartoon I remember hearing about) I remember being ashamed for liking Sailor Moon, but it didn't stop me from liking it.

And as the years went by, Sailor Moon got more popular, and I got more excited, and happier, to be a Sailor Moon fan. I'd been there since almost the beginning, and now it was popular. And here I was, liking something popular. It was an interesting sort of high - sticking with something so long, no matter what people thought, no matter how I got picked on, and now it's actually cool to like it.

I wonder if any other older Sailor Moon fans experienced this. If they got picked on when they were in school for loving the show, and how they felt when it got popular.

I also realized that since 1997, not a day has gone by without either seeing something Sailor Moon related, or mentioning Sailor Moon, or something like that. And here my mom thought I'd grow out of it!

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Changed my layout, about to change my icons.

I've noticed something, in my travels between here and Dreamwidth. Dreamwidth is really empty. Sure, I have some friends over there, but hardly anyone posts. I check LJ multiple times a day, and there's always something new to read. I check DW once a day, and I'm lucky if there's five or six new posts to read.

Anyway, today Bryan and I are moving the daybed over here to Tara's. I hope it fits in the hole we made for it. Worst comes to worst, we'll just shuffle stuff around.

I gotta clean my room. It's a wreck. I can do that later, most likely, once the daybed is in.

I wrote 4,585 words today for my NaNoWriMo novel.

Holy crap.

I've still got a little under 4,000 to go to get to where I'm supposed to be for today, but once I hit that, I will officially be HALFWAY DONE.

And I'll officially be further along with this than any other NaNo novel I've done.

I'm glad I told myself that I can catch up, and that I can and will win NaNo this year.

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So I found out I have to reapply to grad school if I want to change my major. Sure, I'll be dealing with the anxiety of finding out if I got in again or not, but I want to get into the Information Technology Production program, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

So, here's what I have to do.
-I need two letters of recommendation that reflect my knowledge of technology. I'm not sure if an employer can write a letter of recommendation, but if so, I'm going to ask Paula to write me a letter. Either her or Romeyn, even though I didn't work for him for as long as I worked in the ITC. My experience in the ITC should help me out a lot. Letter two will probably be from Caroline, since not only have I helped her out technology-wise in school, I've helped her family out as well.
-I need to fill out the application again. Piece of cake, I think. The letter of intent may be a little harder to do, because "I just like playing with computers" will not get me into graduate school. "CTS likes me a lot!" probably won't work either.
-I need to fill out my FAFSA in January.
-Once I find out if I'm getting into grad school or not, I need to talk with Sarah or Paula or Romeyn, and see if I can work for any/all of them. (Or I can get in touch with Laurie, and see if Financial Aid could use me, especially if I end up taking summer classes.)

All in all, so far today is a good day. :D I also cleaned out the bathroom, and called my mom! Now I'm just waiting for Tara to get home, and then we're gonna go to Ogdensburg. :D

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Yeah, I've given up on NaBloWriMo, and I'm behind in my novel. I'm allergic to Tara's house, and I'm having an educational crisis.

Other than that, though, I'm fine. Mostly moved in to Tara's, and I love my room. I'm happy here. Sure I miss Bry, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that jazz, right?

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I'm going to omit a lot of this to spare any of the NaBloWriMo readers out there, but to make a long story short, Bryan's bad attitude has ended up with him not being able to move in to Tara and Josh's house. I'm more than welcome over there, but his attitude towards them, and how he treats me, has made Josh decide that he just doesn't want to put up with Bryan.

Which is understandable.

Also, I've only cranked out 600 words for my novel today (I was going to shoot for another 3,000, and who knows, I could make it, but only with coffee and chocolate and late night writing), I slept through the morning, I lumped around all day on the couch, and now I'm freezing and starving.

Oh lord, how I LOVE being an adult.

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I feel like it's practically 2 in the afternoon, and it also feels like I've done nothing all day.

Well, the last part is somewhat true, I really haven't done much today. I made myself some lunch, and I helped Bryan gather laundry, and we went to the store together to get some food. And I wrote. A lot. I'm past where I should be for tomorrow, and my goal is to hopefully get even further ahead by tonight. Not too much has happened, novel-wise: I've done a halfway decent job of establishing who my main character is, and we've introduced the love interest! Typing up IM conversations between two characters is a great way to rack up the words. As long as I take care of myself, stay optimistic about things, and don't let myself fall in a hole like I did last year around this time, I should be just fine. I may actually win this year! If I do, I'm totally framing my little completion certificate, and using that "get your novel printed for free" goodie I get when I complete.

But yeah, the end of DST always messes me up. I feel like it's much later in the day than it really is, I haven't even bothered changing some of the clocks (we're moving in a few weeks, what does it matter? They'll be changed when we move), and night-time creeps up way too quickly for my liking. Stupid season changes and accompanying seasonal affective disorder, bleh.

I think I'm going to hunt down my USB heated gloves- my hands are chilly.

5002 / 50000 words. 10% done!

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I have a plot. I have a title. I have a rough outline that covers a year of time in the stories. I have names for all my characters: Maia, Julius, Sarah, John, Frank, Rob, Dee, and Arthur. I have detailed character profiles for my main characters, and have fleshed out the basics for my lesser characters. I'm ready for this.


... OH NOES. I think the NaNo website went down. Dammit! I wasn't done doing my morning forum perusal yet!

Ah well. Later today Bryan and I are going to take care of some stuff at Tara's, maybe move some stuff up to the attic and clean out our bedroom (if the cat boxes have been moved, anyway), and then Tara and I are going to go to Jo-Ann Fabrics and get some cross-stitchy stuff. :D

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That's right, nine days until NaNoWriMo. I honestly can't wait. I've got an outline, I have characters, and I have all the time in the world.

Mostly.

I think we might be moving, actually. Bryan hasn't given me a straight answer yet, but we're broke. Very broke. We can't afford the apartment, that's for sure. It frustrates me - we have a place to live (my friend Tara said we could move in with her), and we'll be able to save money, but he says "we need to explore all our options first". Sometimes we can't afford to explore all the options - we just need to do what's best. He's too stubborn sometimes.

But yeah. Not sure what's going to happen.

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... I'm doing National Blog Writing Month on top of it all! (it's at http://www.nablowrimo.org, if you're interested) I figure November will be full of my ramblings about how my novel is going, and how life in general is - you know, the usual, just with extra NaNoWriMo goodness thrown in. So for those of you stumbling across my blog for the first time, thanks to NaBloWriMo, hi there! :D

Speaking of life, Bryan found out that he's not getting paid nearly as much as he thought he was for substitute teaching, so next month is going to be interesting. Let's just leave it at that.

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There's two bands, actually. One is Daft Punk, and if I have to, I'll go out of state to see them- I would LOVE to see them.

The other band, however, I think I'd have to time travel to see them all together. I would love to see Electric Light Orchestra play live, but since some of the original members have died, sadly, I think I'll have to be content with just seeing Jeff Lynne play, if he ever goes on tour again.

Oh lord, the longest amount of uninterrupted TV time was when I watched 12 hours worth of Sailor Moon episodes with my friend Erin, back when we were in high school. I'd taped a month's worth of episodes and saved them up for a weekend when I went over to her house, so we could watch together. It was WONDERFUL. XD

I want to do that again, actually- see how far I could get through Sailor Moon in a weekend. :P

So I'm crossposting here and on LJ. Yergh. I thought I'd quit for good, but I guess not.

I'm a moderator over at sailormoonfans2, which is one of the reasons I figured I'd come back to LJ. I can't leave everyone over there wondering what I'm really up to, can I? (Not like I'm up to much of anything besides teaching.)

Speaking of teaching, I got a set of stamps to use when grading my students' work. (Amusingly enough, it's the same exact set that my mentor teacher has!) I'm excited, I can't wait for them to come in the mail. I also can't believe that I'm almost halfway through student teaching at Madrid-Waddington. I really don't want to leave. With doing my 100 hour observations there, and student teaching as well, I've become really attached to the school. I want to work there when I'm a fully certified teacher. I want to have my own classroom there, and be surrounded by friendly teachers and well behaved students.

Tomorrow I'm going to watch Sailor Moon. Not sure what season I'm going to watch. It's sad- I never have actually watched to the end of S and SuperS. I know what happens, of course, but I've only seen about half of S and five or so episodes of SuperS. I'm a horrible Sailor Moon fan, I know.

Bryan is snoring next to me, and it's a little annoying. ^_^;;;

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Uh.

Hi there, LJ internets.

Yeeeaaahh, I came back. (to tell the truth I never really left, honestly, just stopped posting) sailormoonfans2 is one of the reasons I'm sticking my head in.

Most of my recent stuff is over on Dreamwidth, but I think I'll start crossposting again.

So, anyone miss me?

I have five dreamwidth invite codes. Comment or message me with your email, and I'll send one to you if you'd like to keep me company over there.

http://www.dreamwidth.org